My poor little mam, hates having her photograph taken. Went to her sons wedding and made it through even though her legs were hurting her so much. She was shattered when she got home and was pleased to be able to sit down in her chair. I thought at one point we were going to have to give her a fireman’s lift to get her from the car into the house but slowly and surely she made it.
Every week we went on picnics in the summertime. Kids around would come and say, “Are you going to the picnic?” “Yes.” And you either got a bottle of lemonade or water, whatever, and took that with you. And sandwiches, you know, and things like that. And go off through the, what we used to call the meadows, they call them fields now, and go to different places. Neddy’s well, there was a place called Neddy’s well. At Neddy’s well there was a natural spring. And the natural spring, my dad used to go there and you could get watercress. And then he used to go across the bridge and down into the field, across from our house, and pick mushrooms. But now from what I can gather its all built up with houses. Well along that what they called the cinder path that’s the way I used to go to school. Over the bridge, down the cinder path and up to the railway station. Over the railway bridge and the school was there on the right hand side. It was what was called a Church of England endowed school. That meant that the church paid for the school where the church never paid for the Catholic school, the Catholic people had to look after their own. And they used to go round their parishioners tocollect money off them to look after their church, the Catholics did. I mean we used to collect money but we didn’t collect it like they did, you know go around the houses. I used to deliver the church magazine at one time. In one of the magazines, but I don’t think I have one, its got my name in. It says about people who delivered the magazines and its got my name in.
“I’d run up the street when the mill was about to close and stand outside waiting for my mother. And people coming out and saying, “Hello there, your mam won’t be long”. And then maybe one would come out another different night and, “oh, your mam’s going to be a long time cause she’s had a smash.”
“And what you call a smash was the shuttle had come out of the reeds and broken all the cotton. And they used to have to bring all them through the reeds again and tie them. And if it was too bad a smash they would change it and start again, if it was too bad. But if it wasn’t too bad they’d mend it and then comb it. But that part when the cloth was taken off the loom itself it was cut out. ”
- Iris Anson
I took a break recently, well a long weekend. Back to my old haunt, the Lake District. Just for a few days, recharge the batteries. Back to the same place I’ve been going to since I was 13, that’s 39 years ago. And a funny thing happened. I promised my old mam that I would try and find out a little about her mums family, trace her roots back for her, as she did not know her maternal Grandmother and didn’t even know where the family came from. I managed to get a copy of her mams birth certificate, something she hadn’t seen herself. And taking the name of her mams mam (my mams grandmother, whom she’d never met) I traced the family back to Patterdale. My great grandmother, Isabella Crosthwaite, and her siblings were born there. She lived there until she went into service and went to live in Kendal where she met my grandfather, William Nelson. Isabella’s mother and father were called George and Sarah Crosthwaite. Sarah was born in Patterdale too. How she met George I do not know but by 1856 they were married and living in the area. He worked in the old lead mines that were dotted around Patterdale. By 1871 he was blind after an accident and they were living in a cottage named Elm How at the base of Hellvellyn. I have no record of George’s death but Sarah died in 1879 and is buried in St Patrick’s church, Patterdale.
Why a funny thing then? Well like I said I have been going to the same spot in the Lake District, Eastern end of Lake Ullswater, for 39 years. Patterdale lies 10 miles away from Pooley Bridge, at the western end of Lake Ullswater. So all the time I have been going ‘up the lakes’ little did I know that my ancestors had been born and were buried just down the road.
No wonder I have loved every minute I spend up there, and continue to do so. Its in my genes.
Elm How Cottage (at the base of Hellvellyn) Patterdale.
Today I took my little mam to the pictures. She loves going to the pictures. Normally it is a scary movie we go to watch. Today was no different. She loves scary movies, although she often complains that they are not scary enough. Time is running out, she’s 88, well 87 actually. Her birthday is in 3 weeks time and then she’ll officially be 88. We got there at one pm, the film was due to start at quarter past. They hadn’t even opened up. I don’t know how these places make any money. Oh yes I do. Nearly 20 pounds it cost, for an adult and senior citizen ticket, one small diet coke and a cuppa. Yes that’s how they make their money. I remember the days when……….. well you get my drift.
My mam walks with a stick so I have to get her seated and then go back for the refreshments. She hates climbing the stairs to get to a seat but she doesn’t like to sit too close to the screen so up we go, my little mam hanging onto my arm and using her stick to help her up. She chooses where we sit even though our tickets said we were to sit elsewhere. I told the man when he asked which seats we wanted that we’d sit wherever my little mam decided to sit regardless. He laughed. Not sure I like this new practice of asking people where they want to sit. The film seemed to take ages to start and then eventually we were off. The sound is so intense sometimes but why of why does my mam insist on talking loudly during the quiet scenes. Yes its embarrassing, but haven’t our parents embarrassed us all out lives. When the film finished we waited until everyone had gone and then slowly made our way down from the gods, back to terra firma. And we followed the same routine, stopping off at pizza hut on the way back to the car so my mam can take a pizza home for her tea. Its little things like this that I will remember with fondness, and maybe shed a tear or two, when the inevitable happens. My mam doesn’t understand why I want to take photos of her. But I do, she’s my mam, and these are my memories.
I work shifts, 12 hour shifts. That’s three days a week. Which means I have spare time during the week to do stuff I enjoy. On most of my days off I go to visit my mam. She lives with three dogs. In a house we moved into in 1970, when I was 6. She’ll never leave it, except when the inevitable happens. She’s 88 so that time is creeping closer. It scares me because then I will be parentless. What will I do? I’m not sure I will cope very well. I dread it. I can’t even bear to think about it. What will I do with her house? I grew up in it. It holds so many memories. My dog, Rebel, which I got when I was 13 (alot happens when you’re 13 I’ve decided) is buried there. As are 3 other dogs, all of which I knew. There’s also a piglet, Betsy, buried in the garden (that’s another story) and a hamster and I think some gold fish. How do you let go of that?
My mam is from a certain generation. She likes to speak her mind. She’s also very loud (probably because she’s as deaf as a post) It can be embarrassing, especially when out. She’ll talk about people who are no more then a foot away, not polite comments either, and you just want a hole to swallow you up. It used to annoy me but now, even though I cringe inside, I just let her get on with it. Last time I spoke to her about it she stopped speaking to me for the rest of the day. She’s from that generation, isn’t she, not afraid to speak their mind. She’s stubborn too. Even though I’m quite happy to help around the house so often refuses to let me do anything for her. I get away with the gardening mind. That she struggles with. Its the getting up and down you see, not good for old bones. Sometimes I tell her I’m off to the toilet and then I sneak off to do the washing up, or the hoovering, or dusting. I get caught out of course because she wonders why I’m taking so long and she comes to find me. Can never get away with anything me.
My mam and dad used to play bingo a lot. Not at these big places, like Mecca, but at clubs in the nearby villages. Sometimes they won, sometimes they didn’t, but for them it was a night out. A chance to meet up with friends, have a few beers. I was never a big fan, I hate not winning. One the few occasions I tried my hand at it, and that was at Mecca, I always came away disappointed. So I never went back. If I ain’t going to win I’m not going to play. I always found Mecca quite soulless. There was never that friendly atmosphere that you’d get at the small clubs. You didn’t really feel part of the crowd. I didn’t discover that friendliness until I attended a bingo and quiz night at the Navy Club in Blackhall. For me it was a baptism of fire. Not only was I part of the crowd but I had to approach people to make sure they were happy at me taking their photos. There were some familiar faces there which made it a little easier. I worked my way round the room making sure I didn’t miss anyone out. And for someone who hates approaching people it was amazing. Everyone was happy to have their photo taken, and they were all interested in what I was doing. I had a secret weapon of course. It helped massively that I lived in the next village and that my family came from Blackhall. Alot of people I spoke to actually knew my dad or the family and regaled me with tales from the old days. It might sound sentimental but I felt like I was close to my dad that night. I was living and breathing his past. I felt immensely at home and for someone who has never fitted in that’s pretty good. I got some decent shots too although I had not taken into account the fact that the room would be so quiet when the bingo was on. Yes, my flashgun gave out a lovely little sound as it fired up again and I was so aware of it. Everyone was concentrating so hard and I was so worried that I was putting them off. I bid my goodbyes later that evening and even attempted to thank everyone over the mike, although it came out more as a mumble and half the people didn’t hear me. Still I got a round of applause. My confidence is growing!